I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
