it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
