I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I enjoy the company of your penis
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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