thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
