dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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