No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
