Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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