You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
