don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
