Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
