Can i not drive my cunt home
look no pants
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
