someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he shaved USA in his pubs
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
