i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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