So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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