their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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