i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
