i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
