you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
