It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
well you can't waste a boner
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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