Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
