I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
