he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
