you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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