Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
