So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
