He is an equal opportunity slut.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I want her autograph on my taint
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
