I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
