she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
