But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
