you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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