elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
