12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
