I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
