Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
