perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
