finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
