Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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