And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
