Its about making memories worth repressing
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
