haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
