Dual....:-)
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
