What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
