Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.

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(425): View more from Washington

Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.

Fav 30 4504 1143
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(702): View more from Nevada

I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.

Fav 23 4775 1702
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(310): View more from California

i fucked a milf yesterday.

(619): View more from California

i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.

Fav 28 14080 2295
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(785): View more from Kansas

So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.

Fav 16 1020 6044
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(785): View more from Kansas

He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms

Fav 12 1156 4055
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(317): View more from Indiana

Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.

Fav 15 1236 3253
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(409): View more from Texas

Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony

Fav 2 1650 687
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(813): View more from Florida

Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?

Fav 0 97 10
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