I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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