I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Less talking, more tequila
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Found the puke drawer
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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