so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
