operation harelip BJ is a go
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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