I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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