Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
