Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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