So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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