Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
