trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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