i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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