I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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