i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
