As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
