I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
